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Posts Tagged ‘hollywood’
Guidelines in building a Hollywood operating system
Posted on January 10, 2010 in Humor
1. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.
2. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.
3. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
4. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file — and there are no undelete utilities. Corollary: Deleting a file instantly removes all copies of said file from disks, memory, frame buffers and caches across all computers in the universe.
5. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.
6. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it’ll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.
7. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren’t labeled.
8. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.
9. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY.
10. Whenever a character looks at a terminal, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face.
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